There are a lot of things married people go through their everyday lives. There's raising the children, making a living for the family, paying the bills, making peace with the in-laws and neighbors, preparing for retirement, and keeping and nurturing the couple's relationship. That's just to name a few.  The most important perhaps, to accomplish all these, is having and maintaining a good marriage, a working relationship that will trudge through years and years together. But how can this be possible when jealousy comes knocking destructively on your door?

Even the smallest, mildest peek of the green-eyed monster can create a great spat between the closest of couples. If left alone and unattended, jealousy and the ruinous reactions to it can cause great pain, and may even end a marriage.

YOUR PERSONAL TENDENCIES

To do the relationship a favor, you must honestly recognize our tendencies toward jealousy. Are we secretly being jealous even after an event of jealousy has been justified? This shouldn't be.

If you feel you may be showing unnecessary jealousy toward your spouse, do some work to prevent it from turning into a "self-fulfilling prophecy".

TIPS FOR PROTECTING THE MARRIAGE

Is your spouse actually giving you a reason not to trust him/her fully, or is the emotion simply one you are projecting out of insecurity? A mature individual can answer oneself honestly, in terms of zeroing in on the problem. One must consider all actual facts from made-up scenarios, cooked up by our jealous tendencies.

Although, it is but natural to think that jealousy is an act of self-preservation. We may just be making sure that the marriage is stable and secure, for your sake and for the sake of all the other stuff that was built with the marriage.

Sometimes though, it leads to being overly controlling, having that fear of losing something of great value. And because of this, it may lead to obsessing, which in any circumstance, is detrimental to any relationship.

Talking through the issue, consulting an expert, or a therapist (in extreme cases) is very important for healing.

If you are the jealous one, ask yourself why you are jealous. If you are not sure why jealousy is stemming from you, determine factors that make you feel jealous. Or pinpoint events when you most felt jealous and work from there. Knowing triggers is primary to addressing the issue.

Fear of infidelity is not the only kind of jealousy that may shake a marriage. You may simply be jealous because your spouse has a more stable career, more free time or other personality traits that you covet. In fact, this type of reaction can well be categorized to being envious. Envy is a resentment you hold toward a person for their perceived advantage. At its worst, envy seeks to deprive the other person of their advantage.

YOUR PARTNER'S FEELINGS

Whatever the cause of jealousy, as the other half of the marriage, you need to consider how your negative emotions and reactions can impact your partner and the relationship as a whole.

Be aware that jealousy can cause great damage that may lead to the end of the marriage if it isn't managed or contained.
Put yourself in your partner's shoes.

You owe it to yourself, to your spouse and to your relationship to work on your jealous feelings. If you can't do it on your own, or with your partner, seek professional help.

Remember, jealousy, more often than not, is just an irrational feeling. Ask yourself this, will you let some made-up scenario win over a secure relationship and a life that is happy? Certainly, NOT!